


Lord Have Mercy! I Am Accursed!

by foxtwin



Category: Waldesgespräch - Schumann (Song)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 17:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxtwin/pseuds/foxtwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The chill of winter is unbearable -- and then the wind rests its howling only to start again with renewed vengeance. The Lord is repaying me for my sins. Would that I could cease this torment.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lord Have Mercy! I Am Accursed!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [team_fen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/team_fen/gifts).



_Verdammte Kälte!_ I've been traveling for weeks, for months, trying to find my way out of these infernal woods. Infernal. If only they were truly that. A fire to keep me warm would be most welcome. Or some hollowed out tree. Or a friendly wolf. For companionship, you understand. The notion of sex is lost to me. But trees and foxes -- like women in general -- are both as cold as the ice clinging to those branches up there.The foxes guard their dens ruthlessly. And the trees, like that witch-woman, are no help at all. Closed up and inhospitable. How the deer are able to stand the cold in their thickets, I cannot say. Their dung is sweet and warm. But even they guard it as if it were their only prize. My woolen jacket does nothing for me. My shoes are frozen to my feet; my sweat has frozen my shirt to my chest. The chill of winter is unbearable -- and then the wind rests its howling only to start again with renewed vengeance. The Lord is repaying me for my sins. Would that I could cease this torment. 

_Verdammten Mund!_ I should have just kept my mouth shut! I should have just left the grand notes of my song to her from reaching my lips. My song of praise and desire for a woman whose ample bosom would comfort me for a night, now sticks in my throat like a cancerous mass needing surgical extraction. And when I tried to remove it, I could not. My numb, yet willing, hands cannot even hold the knife. And would that another could do the deed for me, no blade would be sharp enough for the task; so I find the otherwise possible impossible. 

_Du verdammte Hexe!_ Hell's fury is a woman scorned. More the fool, I, for disbelieving. Yet, I would never have guessed Hell would be the Black Forest. Or that the forest's name would be synonymous with the color of that witch-woman's heart. I might have never wandered through it that day, had I known. So.. here I am, looking in on myself as I walk by tree and stump. A devil inside yearning to free itself from an impregnable wooden cage. Second guessing. Gnashing teeth. Hot thoughts sizzling on a frozen tongue. Whipping winter winds winding through these woods. Lord God in Heaven, give me the fires of eternal burning -- at least I’d be warm. 

_Stumme Lautheit!_ Silence. It burrows into my ears like a rabbit endlessly digging its warren. It screams like the hawks circling above. Reminders of death. Reminders of life. Silent she, the woman on her horse. Beautiful. No, Gorgeous. Features so striking and a face like an angel. Was she worth the trouble? Maybe. Strike up a conversation, I thought. And in trying to be chivalrous, I plotted with ulterior motives. Witches can see those things, can’t they? Witches see what normal women cannot -- both the good and the bad. Especially the bad. Especially. 

_Verdammt! Doppel Verdammenswert, bin ich!_ Damn those motives now! Much good they've done. Was it worth the trouble? Maybe not. Mushrooms and bark make a bitter meal. And the few bird eggs I find don't satisfy. Hunger wracks me, drives me insane. Even the trees call me names and trip me as I walk to find an exit that will never come. Besides, every tree looks the same. Some even have names they call me. Remind me of my old life. My friends who weren't friends. My enemies who weren't enemies. I've tried marking the trees, but the blood draining from my numbed fingers dries up and becomes one with them. Ice-cold and stony. My lips kiss them, desiring comfort. But the favor is never returned. Properly. 

_Du Hexe, Loreley! Du Verdammte Hexe!_ A shameful waste, she. A witch-woman with eyes as fire and a heart filled with years of unmelted ice. She warned me. Not only with words, but with that look. I couldn't stop myself enough to keep my soul’s ship from crashing on her shore. More the fool, I, for disbelieving. Emotions run away from me now. Not so when I met her. Emotions then filled me, flooded me, inundated me. Water of Gladness. Wave of Lust. Flood of Joy. Sinking my ship with each sound from her lips, each bat of her lashes, each sultry tone. And her words, like jagged rocks on the Rhein, broke my spirit. Shattered my dreams. Glass hurled against stone. Only worse, as those shards returned embedding themselves in my soul. I realize that now. Only now.

_Wo Bist Du, Gott? Hier und Nirgends!_ So, where were you God? Hmm? Where were you when I asked you to stand by me that fateful day? Lord, have mercy! When she revealed herself, why didn’t you halt my tongue? Christ have mercy! My tears don't fall anymore. They freeze in my eyes before I blink. And when I do, they hurt like sin. What the hell was I thinking? Why didn’t I, like a fool, beg for mercy from _her_? Would she have given it? Of course, that's nonsense! Would she have pronounced another fate worse than this one? I fear she might have, indeed! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Where the hell are you?

_Herr, erbarme mich! Ich bin verflucht!_ Memories feed bitter memories. She rode away from me, you know. I tried to stop her, to have her take me with her. And she with me. Her icy stare and demon-hands gripped my soul and burned it cold. Those eyes. A burning, freezing feeling even now I cannot shake as I wander, lost, amid the pines. Cursed and damned. Eternally.


End file.
